Hacking Cough (good visual, eh?)

I feel I should write since I haven't in a few days. I've had this deplorable hacking cough for several weeks now and it's not showing any really promising signs up stopping. I'm stocked up on daytime and nighttime cough medicine and cough drops, and I've quit smoking for the time being. Hopefully for a long duration of time, but no promises.

I got a small package from Max today that contained an old fashioned mini music box that plays "Here Comes The Sun," a t-shirt that says "Someone In Louisville Loves Me," and a romantic letter. I tell ya, I don't know what I've done to deserve that boy. I don't really have words right now (which is probably not good whilst blogging). I'm just the luckiest girl in the world and need not to forget that.

I haven't felt great about what I've done with Deb, the role I play in s.o.s., so far. There's such complexity to a woman who's lost her husband to depression and has to help her son cope with it while remaining strong. She has to be such a role model; the very epitome of a strong woman. What the fuck do I know about that? I'm a little girl, someone playing dress up in an older woman's clothes. I've never had to deal with anything too big or grown up or scary, and thus remain in my protective child's skin. I want to do something great with this part so badly. I feel like it's a rare opportunity, and it needs to be done right or I'll feel shitty about it for a long time. Meehh.

In other news: my house is a mess, and I have no motivation to clean. Go figure.

In other other news: still no job. Total number of places applied to in Kirksville: 17.


::Later Post::

I think I just realized I judge everyone and focus mostly on the bad parts of people, which makes me hate myself and everyone. I don't know why that happens. I wish it didn't. It should probably cease.