Self Help and Cheesecake

I'm going to be honest: I bought a self help book today. Not because I'm severely depressed and hopeless and feel I have no way to deal with things, but because I feel I'm seeing the sun again after a long journey through the dark woods, and I want to keep on that uphill slope. I want to better understand the things that have made me happy lately and why they have made me happy, so that I can continue to live by them. Because I have been happy lately. I have felt independent and strong, yet eager to learn more about my relationship and what things I can do for myself and for him to make this work. I dig that boy.

I had brief panicky thoughts, though, when I was looking at these shelves of books today. I've always felt, I'm 19 years old, and I shouldn't have to be looking at books like that, right? Luckily Jordan was there to instill some confidence in me. There's nothing wrong or pathetic with wanting to better yourself, and gathering advice from people who've studied or lived through similar situations that you are currently living through. I want to stay happy, and I'm trying to be smart about it and think more about it, letting my rational side peek its head above the surface and take some of the heat off my overly emotional side.

I've had a nice weekend. Lots of driving, and my car pretty much hates me, but I actually managed to have a nice dinner with my parents, where I didn't get criticized for doing theatre, or living in a house, or having pets, or a number of others things my dad usually finds wrong with my lifestyle. My mom helped me run lines, and I'm feeling pretty confident about those. I had yummy sushi lunch with Katie and Lindsay, then coffee with my dear Katie. Then I got to spend a good 24 hours with Jordan, my kindred spirit. Too much money spent on food at Cheesecake Factory and wine + 17 Again and High School Musical 2 = a successful evening with one of my best and oldest friends. We went to breakfast this morning at our old tradition, Mimi's Cafe, where we were once yelled at by a snarly waitress named Jan - we'll never forget you, JanPan. Then coffee with Fiona at Muddy's, and now here I am back at home. The only thing I really needed to accomplish this weekend that I didn't was getting some reading done in The Structure of Scientific Revolutions by Thomas Kuhn for my comm class a.k.a. the bane of my existence. I have the feeling I'm just going to sparknote it anyway though, and I'm not stressed about it. It'll get done. Next up for me is hanging out with Mandy, then tomorrow morning I'm up bright and early to go pick up MaxAttax at the airport. I love the airport! And then at some point it's back to Kirksville and I get to snuggle my kitty again. I've missed her so much it's weird.

P.S. Everyone, at some point in their lives, must try White Chocolate Caramel Macademia Nut cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory. I don't think I'm had anything more decadent and delicious in quite some time.

I'm off for adventures with Kaffie. Stay happy. :-)